Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.