WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?