I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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