I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
