belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
as a side note pls kill me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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