Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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