Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize