I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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