just come out here and I will go home with you...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i now understand why vodka
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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