Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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