k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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