If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
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just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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