I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm fucking your sister right now.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades