Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just cropdusted the office
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....