Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.