Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding