My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
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I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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