singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i am craving dick and cupcakes