His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!