Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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