You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
