Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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