I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
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Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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