my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
