Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just fell off a train. Bad.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
