Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize