Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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