We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
