One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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