Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
no you cant smoke seaweed
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
