Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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