I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
