I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize