i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
