i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
