I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
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And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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