she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize