AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
