There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
