I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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