It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
