so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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