Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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