brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
