It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
