i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I checked into jail on foursquare
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize