If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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