your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
