hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"