can u get pink eye on your cock?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think a kid would responsible me up
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm too high and old for this...