haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson