trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me