Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.