So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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