told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
