She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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