oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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