Plan B is the new Plan A
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
