Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?