Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ugly people sure do ruin things
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.