This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dicks are not precious.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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